Growing Up!

I’ve always thought of writing a book or a script for a movie that will make it big one day and show all my family and so-called friends that  I indeed have more to me than just the regular 9-5 job and an overgrown afro I can barely maintain.  But before I start writing the next sopranos, I thought I should start by practicing by writing a blog.

I started to pen to paper, well fingers to keyboard and thought what on earth shall I blog about and it got me thinking.  Thinking takes time and patience of which I have an abundance of.  Lately I’ve started to question practically everything, from the meaning of life, and every relationship break down I have ever had, to why Apple can’t sort out adobe flash on the iphone and why Glenda from number 27 never shaves her legs.  As you can tell, deep thinking is my speciality.

There comes a point in a person’s life where  you look back and reminisce, think about what you have achieved, what you could have changed, or done differently if you had your time over again.  Now this is normally standard practice on ones death bed, however the thought of me turning 30 is enough to make me pale.  To say that I am a tad nervous or apprehensive about turning 30 is an understatement and it's still months away.  I can tell you, there are people on death row with more enthusiasm than me at the moment.

Now you may be thinking what the big deal about turning 30 is, and you would be right one hundred percent.  It is just a number after all, and it’s not like turning 40 where you would expect to have a mid life crisis, dye your hair blonde, buy a hairdressers Porsche convertible to relive your youth and generally act like a bit of a bandit.

The point is, 30 represents a personal landmark for me.  Why I hear you ask? Well let’s all jump in to Doc Browns Delorean time machine and go back to 2001 to a time when I was a young naive 21 year old studying at university, no not the university of life I hear you say, this was the real deal.  So as the blunt was getting passed around from one house mate to the next, we sat back to ponder where we would all be in 10 years time.  We all somehow after smoking an eighth of afghans finest, or was it Leroy’s finest from Coventry, not quite sure, memory is a bit of a blur, but anyway, we all turn into modern day philosophers and deep thinkers, it’s like the second coming of Sigmund Freud.

So as I raised my head from the bung and looked through the smoke filled sanctuary of our student quarters, I advised that I shall be the last of the gang to settle down.  Surprisingly all my friends, thought that I was high and that in fact I would be the first. Oh how little they knew me. 

I was too immature for marriage in my twenties, it was so not on my radar, I mean I didn’t even have a compass. 

Now I’ve seen my best friends married and settled down over the years, and it’s never really bothered me, Marriage although would be nice at some point,  I have always sensed that I’m here for something far more important that putting a ring on a ladies finger.  It’s a question that puzzles us all at some point, but definitely not one I should try to answer on a Saturday morning at 3.50am as I write this.

A question I can look into is do I fear growing up, by turning 30? Is it being a responsible adult that terrifies me, putting someone else first before me or is there more to it? 

Is it the fear of having a mortgage for the next 25 years, or a pension plan, reading the financial times, going to the garden centre on a bank holiday for geraniums, picking out cushions for the sofa, inviting Gill and Barry from work for dinner one night, watching French independent films on e4, ordering a hazelnut latte at Costa, repairing a dyson vacuum, cleaning the car every Sunday, planning a holiday to Cornwall, following Jamie Oliver’s cookbook for lunch, and talking about current affairs with your local MP or worse your Uncle Ali from Bradford. 

Is this what is so terrifying? Oh hang on, wait a minute, I actually do some of those already.  I may need to revaluate what constitutes being a grown up adult is, or maybe I’m on my way to becoming one, in that case it doesn’t seem so scary, let’s see where the road takes me.

How have I ended up here? I have well and truly digressed with my return to blogging, where did this all begin, ahh yes writing a novel or a script for a movie, hmm I really must put pen to paper on that sometime.

For now though, peace, love and happiness.

TanRockStar