Girls Playing Hard To Get

Let’s make one thing clear, blokes are good at playing games like football, or monopoly, and some of us even like a bit of chess as it means we can dress up in a smoking jacket and have a cigar,  but playing hard to get is one game that really does elude the male species.

That’s because it’s not really a guy thing.   When it comes to girls, if we are interested, we will usually follow up a date with a phone call or a text pretty much straight away and show our hand. However, if we don’t reply for a few days, then it’s because we're not really interested. There is no grand courting master plan behind it; it's pretty much black and white.

As a guy doing the chasing though, I for one enjoy the challenge when a girl plays hard to get, obviously not in the same manner as Benny Hill running after girls in a barn stacked of hay, but still, it can be a highly enjoyable and rewarding pursuit if you take it for what it is.

In a crude but simple way to look at it, what’s more attractive? A girl that is all flirty, texting and emailing you 36 times a day to ask how you are or interrogating each ingredient inside your lunchbox (pardon the pun)?  Or a girl who is quite mysterious, and comes across as cool and suave, and will reply to your messages, but with a bit of intrigue?

Speaking from personal experience, I have been on dates, where uber flirtation and communication has led me to being a bit complacent and not really interested as there is no excitement for a chase.  I have sat opposite a girl at a restaurant and hid behind the menu thinking ‘Should I just order dessert and forget the mains’.  I even sat there one time thinking of elaborate excuses to make as a quick getaway.  My favourite one was ‘I’m sorry but I have to go, I think I left a quiche in the oven’.  

However, I can honestly say a girl playing hard to get has made me raise my game, and I don't mean going from Jenga to Scrabble.  What I do mean is when I went out; I took a keen interest in my date. I was interested in what she had to say, there was more interaction, conversations were more engaging because I didn’t take her for granted and there was a possibility I may not see her again.  

The banter and affection running through the times we spent together at the early stages of going out meant I was genuinely attracted and wanted to find out more. The wait in between dates made me even more excited to see her. So I was confident and persistent that it would be worth it in the end.

However on one occasion, she did risk playing with fire when she told me a guy from work had asked her out.  Well, I can tell you, in the playing hard to get stakes; nothing motivates someone quite like jealousy.  Although harmless, it put me on a quest, to crush the opposition and I was more determined to 'win' the game. So what did I do? Why, I turned the courting up a notch of course.  So my next act in the pursuit of happiness and bliss included flowers and a gift delivered to her workplace. 

‘Ha, in your face work colleague’ Oh I can just see his face, peering over the desk eating his digestive biscuit while she smiles and smells the flowers.  Queue phone calls and texts from one delighted ecstatic lady and the much enjoyable pursuit was at an end. The hard to get girl had been got.

Maybe I’m old fashioned in the sense that I enjoy the chase, it’s the exciting nerves you feel when you think you have made the breakthrough, and all the time and energy you have put in combined with strange sense of patience, and persistence, finally pays off. 

The relationship had a certain spark and chemistry that was built on her playing hard to get.  I will admit guys do need to be strong willed and confident in this game, but they also need to be quite laid back. The girl too needs to know her limits, as there is playing hard to get, and then there is disappearing off the radar as if you have emigrated to the high mountains of Nepal.

Peace love & happiness.

TanRockstar

Making Relationships Work

I recently attended a wedding where the bride and groom were introduced through family involvement or maybe interference, whichever way you like to look at it.  The bride was originally from Birmingham but now living in Glasgow and the groom from the ghetto’s of Stoke.  Perfect match? I thought so too. 

Oh how cute they looked, the bling teethed groom in his bullet proof teflon vest alongside the radiant bride covered in gold that would I’m pretty sure account for more than Bolivia’s GDP.  If you really want to know where Gordon Brown sold the UKs gold reserves, look no further, as the bride from Glasgow was wearing it…. All of it!

Anyhow, it got me thinking how did they get to know each other with being so far away? It’s not as if you could just meet up after work over a hazelnut latte and pretend how busy your day was.  Similarly weekends can be booked up with visits to Ikea to purchase that much sought after mood lamp that will just make your living room resemble a car boot sale or worse a brothel.  This doesn’t leave you much time for romance.

Maybe you could take a couple of days off work to visit your potential future partner? however you do have to be careful though so early in a “relationship” to do this, especially if you have only got 3 days annual leave left until Christmas and you want to go away to Amsterdam with your mates.  

Well, there is the telephone of course to stay in touch and get to know each other. Ah the good old dog and bone, talk for hours making endless conversation of hopes and dreams that you may one day share with your future loved one. Only for reality to hit 3 months after your married when you realise that the height of your partner’s ambition is to have pie & chips every thursday watching some high pitched orange wag shouting “Shaaatuupp”.  Sorry, my bad, let’s not look that far ahead just yet.

Back to the phone we go, ah yes there’s only really so much you can actually talk about over the phone, before one of you decides to nod off and snore down the line.

As you can imagine there’s nothing quite like hearing your future partner make sounds of a wombat through her nostrils.  Just think if you play your cards right, you could hear that noise every night….. for the rest of your life! Sexy times indeed.

But technology has moved on of course, you can stay in contact through web cam I hear you say? Ah a wise option, or is it?  Sure you can see each other every night, you both smile and giggle, you make a comment about not wearing any make up, and she makes a comment that u look amazing without it, oh wait, that should be the other way round.  Good times.

But let’s not cloud over the issue for even one minute though. I mean really what your thinking is jeez this guy’s nose hair is blocking the full laptop screen and that he should really put some pants on.  Where as the guy is thinking when is she going to show some cleavage or at least have the decency to turn the bloody web cam off so he can start streaming some of the good stuff all the way from Japan.

Which leads me to believe the best way or only way to maintain a long distance relationship is face to face and by meeting up on a regular basis.

To prove my point, let me introduce you to a friend of mine called Imran, an old school friend who I recently got back in touch with.  Imran is a 30 something high profile investment banker in London who is absolutely desperate to settle down.  One failed relationship after another have started to take their toll on the poor fella, and is so broken and lost I’m pretty sure he would marry a goat if it meant he could go down on one knee just so he could keep up with his married friends.

About 4 months ago, through the inter-tweb thingy and the world of fartbook, Imran met Alandra, a half Colombian half American college student from New Orleans.  Think J-Lo’s figure with Beyonce’s looks and you would be about half way there.

They have been talking regularly through Skype, facebook, webcam, msn and any other means of communication and Imran has now flown out 3 times in the last 3 months to see her. Very keen indeed.

Now every time he goes out to the U.S he buys her a handbag, some Tiffany's jewellery, puts her up in a fancy hotel, and pays for dinner etc like a gentleman would.  When they are meeting up and are together he tells me it’s great.

The flip side to that is when he is back in the UK, Alandra tends to go missing for days on end with rumours of an ex on the scene and poor Imran doesn’t quite know what to do, so he plays dumb and pretends everything is swell.  One time Imran was feeling brave and he did raise the issue of settling down, Alandra didn’t speak to him for nearly 2 weeks after that.

She will however suddenly reappear with the “when are you coming over I miss you, p.s can you pick up a Gucci handbag from duty free on your way”  sweet talk. Imran goes all mushy like a tin of peas and logs on to British Airways for his plane ticket.  On his last visit, Imran told me things are going excellent and he is in the process of buying her a vespa to ride around college in and will be inviting her over to London for the summer as she called him tight and not spending his money on her. I know what you're thinking.

Imran sees it as a small price to pay for some "luvin" as he so eloquently puts it, and the ball is firmly in his court. Personally I think there isn't even a ball or a court, hell it ain't even the same sport, but they do say love is blind.

The point is, Imran's "relationship" with Alandra works when they see each other, and not so much to put it mildly when they are on opposite sides of the pond.  So it's safe to assume, the more you see each other during the early days of courting, the better the odds of sustaining a healthy relationship in the long run, even if it means taking a hefty hit on your wallet like poor Imran. 

Peace, Love & Happiness 

TanRockStar